Social Anxiety in All Stages of Life

A boy sitting alone in a room struggling with social anxiety.

So What is Social Anxiety?

Social anxiety, a debilitating intense fear of social situations, can have profound and far-reaching effects on one’s mental health. People living with social anxiety disorder often experience a persistent sense of dread and self-consciousness in social interactions, leading to avoidance of social gatherings and isolation.

 This chronic avoidance can exacerbate feelings of loneliness, leading to a negative impact on self-esteem and self-worth. The constant fear of judgment and criticism from others can create a vicious cycle of anxiety and fear, eroding one’s confidence and self-assurance. 


As social anxiety takes root, individuals may become increasingly isolated, cutting off opportunities for meaningful connections and relationships. The lack of social support and the persistent negative thoughts can contribute to the development of depression, further affecting mental health. Additionally, social anxiety can hinder academic and professional progress, limiting educational and career opportunities due to the avoidance of public speaking, presentations, or networking events. 


The chronic stress and pressure associated with social anxiety can lead to physical manifestations, such as headaches, muscle tension, and digestive issues, exacerbating the overall burden on mental health. If left untreated, social anxiety can result in a self-perpetuating cycle of avoidance, withdrawal, and deteriorating mental health, significantly impacting an individual’s overall well-being and quality of life. 


However, with appropriate support, such as dialectical-behavioral therapy and exposure therapy, individuals can gradually challenge their fears, develop coping strategies, and improve their mental health, enabling them to engage in social interactions more confidently and fostering a healthier sense of self.


Social Anxiety in Children

Sad boy alone on playground struggling with social anxiety

Social anxiety can manifest and affect children in various ways, significantly impacting their emotional and social development. In social situations, children with social anxiety may display excessive shyness, reluctance to speak or participate, and avoidance of eye contact. They may fear judgment or criticism from peers, leading to withdrawal from social interactions and feelings of isolation. 


As a result, children with social anxiety often struggle to form and maintain friendships, hindering their ability to develop critical social skills. In school settings, they may experience extreme discomfort during class presentations or group activities, potentially affecting academic performance. Social anxiety can also lead to physical symptoms like stomach aches, headaches, and nausea, further exacerbating their distress. If not addressed promptly, social anxiety in children can hinder their overall emotional well-being, self-esteem, and confidence, potentially affecting their long-term mental health and social adjustment. Early intervention through therapy and support from parents and educators is crucial to helping children cope with social anxiety, build resilience, and foster healthy social relationships.


Treating social anxiety in children typically involves a combination of evidence-based therapies and, in some cases, medication. The goal is to help children overcome their fears, develop coping strategies, and improve their social skills. Here are some common types of treatment for social anxiety in children:


  1. Dialectical-Behavioral Therapy (DBT): DBT is one of the most effective therapies for treating social anxiety in children. It helps children identify and challenge negative thought patterns and irrational beliefs related to social situations. Therapists work with children to develop more realistic and positive ways of thinking and teach them coping skills to manage anxiety.
  2. Parental Support and Education: Parental involvement is essential in the treatment of social anxiety in children. Parents can learn about social anxiety, how to provide support, and strategies to encourage positive social interactions at home and in the community. 
  3. Medication: In severe cases of social anxiety, medication may be prescribed to help manage symptoms. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are commonly used to reduce anxiety and improve mood. Medication is typically used in combination with therapy for more comprehensive treatment.
  4. School-Based Interventions: Schools can play a crucial role in supporting children with social anxiety. Teachers can implement classroom interventions that promote positive social interactions and reduce anxiety triggers, such as allowing for small-group activities and providing opportunities for public speaking practice.
  5. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Teaching children mindfulness and relaxation techniques can help them manage their anxiety in social situations. Techniques like mindfulness meditation, deep breathing exercises, and yoga can help children calm their minds and bodies when feeling overwhelmed.

It is essential for treatment to be tailored to the individual child’s needs and level of social anxiety. Early intervention and consistent support from parents, educators, and mental health professionals are crucial in helping children with social anxiety develop the skills and confidence needed to navigate social situations successfully.

Social Anxiety in Teens

Sad teen boy standing alone in a school struggling with social anxiety.

Social anxiety can be particularly challenging for teenagers, as it often manifests during this critical stage of development when social interactions become increasingly important. Teens with social anxiety may display a range of behavioral, emotional, and physical symptoms. In social situations, they may appear visibly nervous, avoiding eye contact, and struggling to initiate or maintain conversations.


Social events or even routine activities like going to school can evoke intense anxiety, leading to frequent absenteeism and academic decline. The fear of embarrassment or judgment from peers can cause avoidance of social gatherings, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness. Social anxiety can also hinder the formation of friendships and romantic relationships, leaving teens feeling disconnected from their peers. 


Emotionally, teens with social anxiety may experience overwhelming self-consciousness, negative self-image, and a sense of inadequacy. The constant worry about being scrutinized or humiliated can lead to persistent stress and even panic attacks. Over time, social anxiety can significantly impact a teen’s self-esteem, confidence, and overall mental health, potentially leading to depression and other anxiety disorders. Early intervention, supportive environments, and professional guidance can help teens manage social anxiety and foster healthy social and emotional development.


If you think your teen is struggling with Social Anxiety, contact Najwa Zahr, a registered social worker and counselor, at for a free consultation.

Social Anxiety in Adults

Sad man hiding away from others while struggling with social anxiety.

Adults with social anxiety often experience intense worry and apprehension about being judged, criticized, or embarrassed by others. This fear can make everyday social activities, such as speaking in public, meeting new people, or participating in group settings, highly distressing and daunting. As a result, individuals with social anxiety tend to avoid such situations, leading to social isolation and a sense of loneliness. 


The constant avoidance can further exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem, making it difficult for them to form and maintain meaningful relationships. Career and academic opportunities may also be impacted, as social anxiety may hinder job interviews, networking events, or public presentations. 


The chronic stress and anxiety associated with social anxiety can lead to physical symptoms like trembling, sweating, and a racing heart. Over time, social anxiety can severely affect an adult’s mental health, leading to depression, substance abuse as a coping mechanism, and an overall diminished quality of life. Seeking professional help, such as therapy and support groups, can play a crucial role in addressing social anxiety, empowering individuals to face their fears, build self-confidence, and enhance their overall well-being in social settings.

How Do I Know if I Have Social Anxiety?

This 2 minute quiz will help you determine determine if you suffer from Social Anxiety:

Instructions: For each question, choose the option that best represents how you feel or behave in social situations. Be honest with your responses to get an accurate result.

1. How do you feel about attending social gatherings or events? 

a) Excited and look forward to them. 

b) Neutral, neither excited or anxious. 

c) Anxious or dread the thought of attending.

2. When meeting new people, do you experience any physical symptoms? 

a) No physical symptoms, feel at ease.   

b) Slight nervousness or butterflies in the stomach.  

c) Noticeable physical symptoms like sweating, trembling, or rapid heartbeat.

3. How do you react when the center of attention in a group? 

a) Enjoy the attention and feel confident

b) Comfortable if the focus is on you but prefer being part of a group. 

c) Extremely uncomfortable and try to avoid being the center of attention.

4. How often do you find yourself overthinking past social interactions?  

a) Rarely, I move on from interactions quickly. 

b) Occasionally, but it doesn’t bother me much. 

c) Frequently, and it affects my self-esteem.

5. Do you avoid certain social situations or activities due to fear of embarrassment?

a) No, I participate in all social situations without hesitation. 

b) Sometimes, but it’s not a regular pattern. 

c) Yes, I avoid many social situations to prevent embarrassment.

6. How do you feel about making phone calls or speaking on the phone? 

a) Comfortable and have no issues with it. 

b) Neutral, neither comfortable nor uncomfortable. 

c) Extremely anxious and try to avoid making phone calls.

7. Are you concerned about being judged negatively by others? 

a) Not particularly concerned about others’ opinions. 

b) Slightly concerned, but it doesn’t consume me. 

c) Highly concerned and often preoccupied with what others think.

8. How do you cope with social situations that make you anxious? 

a) I handle them well and don’t get overly anxious. 

b) I manage my anxiety with deep breathing or positive self-talk. 

c) I often avoid those situations altogether.


  • For each (a) response, give yourself 0 points.
  • For each (b) response, give yourself 1 point.
  • For each (c) response, give yourself 2 points.


0-4 points: You likely do not have social anxiety, and your comfort level in social  situations is relatively high. 

5-9 points: You may experience some social anxiety in specific situations but not to a severe extent. Consider exploring coping strategies to manage occasional anxiety. 

10-16 points: You may have social anxiety, as your scores indicate a higher level of discomfort and avoidance in social situations. Seeking professional support may be beneficial to address and manage your social anxiety.

Note: This quiz is not a substitute for a professional diagnosis. If you suspect you have social anxiety or any mental health concerns, book a consultation with Najwa Zahr at Calgary Family Counselling for a comprehensive evaluation.

How to Cope With Social Anxiety

Female adult speaking to her therapist about her social anxiety.

Social anxiety can be a challenging and overwhelming experience, making social interactions, gatherings, and even everyday conversations an uphill battle. However, with the right strategies and support, individuals can learn to cope with social anxiety and reclaim their confidence and sense of self. Here are some effective techniques to help manage social anxiety:

  1. Acknowledge and Accept: The first step in coping with social anxiety is to acknowledge its presence and accept that it is okay to feel anxious in certain situations. Recognize that many people experience anxiety in social settings, and you are not alone in your struggles. Avoid self-criticism and understand that it is a process to overcome social anxiety gradually.
  2. Challenge Negative Thoughts: Social anxiety often stems from negative self-beliefs and catastrophic thinking. Challenge these thoughts by questioning their validity. Ask yourself if there is concrete evidence to support your fears or if you might be assuming the worst-case scenario. Replace negative thoughts with more balanced and rational ones. For example, instead of “they think I’m weird”, say “they haven’t gotten to know me yet, I’ll go up and introduce myself”.
  3. Practice Mindfulness: Engaging in mindfulness exercises can be immensely beneficial for managing social anxiety. Mindfulness helps bring focus to the present moment and reduces excessive worry about the future or ruminating about past social interactions. Techniques like deep breathing, meditation, and grounding exercises can help ease anxiety in social situations.
  4. Start Small and Set Realistic Goals: Gradually expose yourself to social situations that make you anxious, starting with smaller, less intimidating gatherings or interactions. Set achievable goals, such as initiating a brief conversation with a colleague or attending a social event for a limited time. Celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small, as they signify progress.
  5. Develop Social Skills: Learning and honing social skills can boost your confidence in social situations. Practice active listening, maintaining eye contact, and asking open-ended questions to keep conversations flowing. Participate in social skills training or join support groups where you can practice social interactions in a safe and understanding environment. 
  6. Use Visualization Techniques: Visualization can be a powerful tool to prepare for challenging social situations. Imagine yourself confidently navigating through a social event, handling any anxiety that arises with composure. Repeatedly visualizing success can help build self-assurance and reduce anxiety when facing real-life situations.
  7. Seek Professional Support: Consider seeking help from a mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor, who specializes in anxiety disorders. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for treating social anxiety. A therapist can provide personalized strategies, support, and insights to address your specific concerns.
  8. Focus on Self-Care: Engage in regular self-care practices to promote overall well-being. Prioritize getting enough sleep, maintaining a balanced diet, and engaging in physical activity. Taking care of your body can positively impact your mental state and increase resilience to anxiety triggers.
  9. Embrace Mistakes and Imperfections: Accept that no one is perfect, and social interactions may not always go as planned. Embrace the possibility of making mistakes or feeling uncomfortable and see them as opportunities for growth rather than failures.

Coping with social anxiety is a gradual and ongoing process. Be patient with yourself, and remember that progress may not always be linear. Celebrate each step forward, no matter how small, and be kind to yourself during setbacks. With persistence and the right strategies, you can overcome social anxiety and lead a fulfilling and confident social life.